Saturday, March 6, 2010

Something I want you to know...

We've lost another child, this time at 12 weeks.

When I found out I was pregnant in early January I was scared to death. As Doug held me crying in the bathroom, all I could say was, "Please God, don't let my baby die." I couldn't help it. In the instant that I knew our baby existed - I was in love.
We didn't tell anyone about this new life. For some reason we thought we should wait to see if everything would be ok. We somehow thought that if things went wrong that we would be sparing grief in others.

I wish we had told everyone.

Maybe God would have heard their prayers...he didn't hear mine. And now that this baby is gone, there is no one to grieve his precious life but me and Doug.

So I want you to know that a child existed.

His name was to be Anthony Benedict.

He was very much loved and wanted.

He joins three other siblings in Heaven:
Michael, Dominic Phillip, and Mary Grace.

Please pray for us.
This grief is too much for me to bear. I hardly get out of bed these days. Doug is wonderful at taking care of the family-but he is weary, too.
Please, just pray for us.



10 comments:

H F J said...

You have my unending prayers

Kalona said...

Oh JoAnn, my heart aches for you! Please know that you and Doug and the boys are in my prayers, and that I am praying for little Anthony Benedict, too. I cannot imagine the pain you are enduring, and I am praying so hard that God will heal your broken hearts and that you will be able to find some peace.

Leslie said...

Praying for all of you. Thank you for sharing your baby with us.

Mrzhotrod said...

JoAnn, I am so sorry you are going through this heartbreaking tragedy once again. I pray God will replace the grief and sorrow each day with peace and comfort. i know that the hole you have in your heart, will one day be replaced with a beautiful garden planted by God himself and your precious angel babies. Know you are loved and I am praying for you and your family.

Rachel said...

While we may not be blood kin to your sweet babies...well, those of us who know you, mourn with you..not the same level, of course...

Sweet Anthony. What a beautiful name you had chosen for your little one...

I wish I could say something wise, or perfect for this moment..but there really isn't anything. Other than "I'm so sorry". You all have been in our prayers, and will continue to be..

Many many prayers and hugs for you, and your family...

Chelsea Rae said...

I have been reading your blog for over two years but have never commented. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please know we will hold you in our prayers.

Yvonne said...

JoAnn ... ((hug)) your pain and sadness is part of the same journey we've gone through. Our prayers are for your hurt to be softened, mingled with the joy to know you have another little advocate beyond the veil.

Veronica said...

Oh dear JoAnn, I'm so very sorry. I lost a baby at 12 weeks last September. We named him Oscar. It was terribly heartbreaking. Still, God does hear your prayers. He is keeping that precious soul with Him and you will get to see that little one and your others in heaven. Please take good care of yourself and if you'd like to talk.. please know that I am here for you! scheib at austin dot rr dot com. Praying for you and sending you hugs.

Kage said...

You are in my prayers in in my heart. I wish I could just sit there with you and cry and laugh. I pray for peace for you.

Aussie Therese said...

I have been praying for you and your family. I hope that the prayers of all of us bring peace into your heart. I love the name you have chosen for your little boy.