Back to Work

In October I came back to work, but on light duty.  My wonderful team allowed me to do desk duty while I got stronger and finished my Physical Therapy.  

I'm not going to lie, it was tough!  

I went from 5 months of sitting in a recliner and watching Netflix like it was my full time job, to getting up at 5 am and trying to make it through an 8 hour day.

October flew by and it was now time to transition to my regular position as a nurse in the OBED.  

This was busy 12 hour shifts and on my feet most of the time.  

And you know what?

I DID IT!

Not only did I manage to do my required shifts per week, I signed up for extra shifts ('cause Christmas is coming!).  

I actually did THREE back to back 12 hour shifts on my new bionic foot and I was just fine!

After that 36 hour marathon, I DID sleep for two days!  

But that's beside the point! 

 I am so grateful for two good feet, the gift of healing, and am so excited about the year to come.

Progress, and I'm Not Talking About My Foot!

Last year in November when I first saw my surgeon, he told me he would not take me to the OR in the condition I was in.  He challenged me to get healthy before performing my surgery.  

Let me tell you, pain is a great motivator!  

I desperately needed to have my foot corrected, so I began to alter my eating habits.  Exercise was out of the question since it was so painful just to even walk.  But with eating a ketogenic diet, I found I didn't have to do strenuous exercises at all to lose weight.

The picture on the right was me in December 

when I began this journey.  

The picture in the middle is me in May, 

down 50 pounds in five months!  

And the picture to the left is me TODAY.  

(I went shopping for scrubs since none of my old ones fit anymore!)

I still have about 20 more pounds that I'd like to lose, and now that I am able to be more active, I have no doubt I'll be at my target weight by December (maybe before!).  And it's all thanks to the surgeon who cared for his patient as a whole person...not just her messed up foot!

If you'd like to know more about the ketogenic diet, check out the links below:

THE KETOGENIC DIET FOR BEGINNERS

KETO 101

KETO CONNECT - The source of ALL things keto!

Ten Weeks Post-Op

I had my 10 week post op check on Friday and things are going GREAT!  I got my cast removed, x-rays taken, and I was deemed well enough to begin life in a boot with partial weight bearing.

In typical "me" fashion, I was sure that as soon as that *$#@ cast came off that I'd be able to walk in a boot without any aides.  

I was wrong.

My leg muscles are extremely weak, my foot is still half numb and just imagine with every step you take you have the WORST case of pins-and-needles known to man.  

Trust me, it's not as fun as it sounds!

Don't let him fool you, he's just after my coffee!

So I hobble with crutches and sometimes my walker.  

I do my exercises and foot massage religiously.  

I will see the doc in three weeks and begin Physical Therapy.

I'm ready.

I have a lot to do!

Thank you for your prayers and company during this journey.

At One Month Post Op...

I am exactly four weeks post op from having a Triple Arthrodesis Revision.  And according to my surgeon, it was a crazy difficult surgery to perform with lots of manipulation to my foot and bones.  This same time with my last surgery I was still in bed praying for death!  

But this time....

We are hitting the beach!

Doing double header baseball games!

Heading to church for this girl's 

First Holy Communion!

And I'm in the kitchen processing the garden peppers and tomatoes into gallons 

(literally gallons!) of salsa!

I have little to no pain at all, and simply can't remember the last time I had to take any medication for pain.  I have another six weeks, at least, in this cast but I cannot wait to get it off and get walking again.

And when I do...y'all better watch out!

Healing

I had my correctional surgery on June 2nd. 

It went smoothly and I spent just one night in the hospital for pain control. 

Since then, my pain has been minimal and all I need now (at just two weeks post op) is an occasional Motrin.  

And now I spend my days watching Netflix like it’s my full time job. 

So far, recovery has been pretty easy. I keep thinking that THIS is how it should have been the first time I had this surgery. I am still so angry that a year of my life was wasted.

I read a quote a few weeks ago that said, You should never ask, “Why is this happening to me?”  You should ask yourself instead, “What is God trying to teach me?”  

God has a reason for allowing bad things to happen. We may never understand His wisdom, but we simply have to trust His will. 

I guess true healing doesn’t mean that the damage never existed. It just means the damage no longer controls our lives. 

I have a lot of healing to do. 

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If It Weren’t For Bad Luck, I’d Have No Luck At All!

So last time I was in this space I was getting ready (for the THIRD time) to have revision surgery on my foot. Well, two days before my surgery I decided to spend the day in the gardens getting them ready for weeks of neglect.

 It turned out to be a really nice day, until....

I dropped a very heavy metal sprinkler on my foot. 

The same foot I was supposed to have surgery on. 

And that damn sprinkler cut my foot on my old scar line. 

Long story short, my physician CANCELLED my surgery. 

I was gutted. 

There was crying.

I may have invented whole new cuss words. 

That all happened a little over a week ago, and now that my physician is sure there is no infection present and my wound is healing well, we have rescheduled the surgery for June 2nd. 

I’m not holding my breath.

There’s no telling what plague will befall me between now and then.

Apocalypse, maybe?

Time Marches On...

Well, April has come and gone and I STILL 

didn't get the surgery done to correct my foot.  

The hospital called FOUR DAYS before my scheduled date 

(and AFTER I had just paid them a couple thousand dollars!) 

to cancel yet again!  

They said they were working on 
"processes to keep staff and patients safe." 
 I really shouldn't be mad at that but...

UGHHHHH!

Now I'm scheduled for May 21st, 

but I'm not holding my breath!

We'll see if it happens.

Stay tuned...

On the other hand, the cancellation has given me more time to garden and that's always a win-win!

One Week from Today...

One week from today I'm having my triple arthrodesis revision surgery.  I can't believe I'm actually typing that sentence!  My surgery was supposed to happen April 2nd, but got postponed due to the cancellation of elective surgeries due to COVID-19.  I have to admit that I was completely gutted then.  I had been waiting well over a year and it was so close to happening when all of this occurred. But now, with elective surgeries beginning again by the 22nd, there is little chance I'll be cancelled again. 

Am I ready?  

No.

I know exactly what is ahead for me. 

 The recovery is so painful.

Literally, every bone in my foot will be broken 

and reset with screws and pins.

Right now, I'm planning on sleeping the first month away 

in a narcotic induced haze.

Seriously, I'm not kidding.

I know it will get better, and at this point ANYTHING 

is better than what I'm living with now.  

I'm really focusing on be able to walk again normally, 

tending to my household and garden, 

and eventually going back to work full force and with less pain.

Please pray for me and my family,

it's going to be a rough four months!

It’s Deja-vu All Over Again!

In 2-3 weeks I am going to have to re-live one of the most painful events of my life:

A Triple Arthrodesis Revision

I had a triple arthrodesis a year ago.
It was done grossly incorrectly.
Now I get to have it done all over again.

In layman’s terms, my *new* surgeon will remove 
the six screws in my foot,

break my foot in several places, fill in the breaks and screw holes with harvested bone grafts from my shin 
as he rebuilds my arch and ankle, 
then reinstall all the hardware to secure it all.

It’s a big deal, y’all!

And I’m seriously getting PTSD because I know what’s coming. 

So being the little control freak that I am, 

I've turned my anxiety into productivity. 

At least that’s what I’m telling myself!

My nest is ready!

My cozy recliner, quilts, side table with a comfort basket, elevation pillow, and heating pad. Because it’s not only your foot that hurts during this recovery, your whole body hurts when compensating for your non weight bearing leg. 

The freezer is full of meals that the kids can dump in the crockpot.

It’s so nice to not have to worry about feeding the family, especially when you can’t even drive to the store!  Plus, there’s something very comforting about the smell of food simmering all day long. 

I’m revisiting my mobility aides and there are some things that I’m definitely going to do differently this time. 

I’ll plant my garden next week.

I’ve got my Netflix binge list ready.

Books are downloaded on the iPad.

And I’m deep cleaning the house room by room. 

I did all of these things last time in preparation for my surgery, and while they really don't mean a lot in the whole scope things,

mentally they helped me cope.

So it's deja-vu all over again!

But it's going to be ok this time, y’all....

It’s just got to be. 

Suffering, Pain, and Lent

Last February I was getting ready to have the Super Bowl of all foot reconstruction surgeries.  I had the surgery and it failed because of an inept surgeon and his mistakes.

Now I get to do it all over again.

I guess it's appropriate that Lent starts tomorrow because there will be suffering, pain, and a whole host of emotions as I deal with the surgery and recovery ~ especially all the anger I have at the first doctor who injured me!

I've spent the last three months being very proactive.  I've improved my lab values greatly so I'm healthy for surgery, the fusions have continued to heal with supplementation and dietary changes, and I've lost 30 pounds.  I see my new surgeon in three days and I know he'll be impressed.

So pray for me.

Not just for my physical recovery but for my mental stability.  It's so hard for me to reconcile that I was injured by someone who was supposed to help me and now I am the one paying for HIS mistakes.

May we all have a fruitful Lent...

Back to the Boot!

Meet my new work partner!

Yep, I'm back in a boot!

And not the cute pointed toe, leather kind.

I'm back in an orthopedic fracture boot ever since I've been back to work.  My surgery from February was botched and will have to be re-done at the beginning of next year.  

Good news is that I've found the most wonderful surgeon to do the revision.  He's given me the task of getting as healthy as I can before going under the knife a second time.  There is also quite a bit of testing to be done.  

Bad news is that I'm still in pain every day, even with the boot, and I have three more months of it.  But at least there's hope of fixing this hot mess!

My plan is to work as much as I can to create a nice nest egg for my time off, and to try to make the holidays this year really special for my family.  I feel like I "owe" them for taking care of me with my first surgery...and then having to do it all again next year.  Maybe if I throw myself into work and family, there won't be any time for the anxiety of having to deal with surgery AGAIN....

maybe.

Why Does The Universe Hate Me?

Murphy's Law should be renamed JoAnn's Law because if something can go wrong in my life, it will go wrong.  

Why should my recent surgery be any different?

Since I started walking on my own two months ago, I have been walking on the outside of my foot.  Even with physical therapy, I have great difficulty taking a step with my right foot flat on the ground.  My PT and I just thought it was a matter of re-training my muscles and my brain to walk normally.  

I have recently found out that that is not the case.

A few days ago I went to my surgeon to get clearance to go back to work.  I told him that I just couldn't walk flat footed and that my foot always rolled to the outside.  I walk on the outside of my foot so much that my first two toes don't even touch the ground!  

It was after I got a CT scan that I learned that my surgeon over corrected my arch.

You read that right...he OVER corrected my foot.  

Surgery is the only possible cure.  

And when you have no medical leave left and haven't gotten a pay check in four months, you kinda have to go back to work.

I am sickened and devastated.

I feel like the last four months of pain and suffering 

were a waste of time.

I am in more pain than before my surgery.

And I won't be able to do anything about it until after the new year.

For now my job is letting me be on light duty, but that won't last forever.  I may have to find a new job...a desk job, because walking is more painful to me than eating glass!  

I really am lost, anxious, and scared to death that I will never be able to walk again normally and without pain.  Also that I will not be able to support my family.  I try to put on a happy face and tell everyone that "I'm fine."  It's just easier than explaining this all over and over again.

So if you see out and about, please don't ask how I'm doing.

I'm tired of lying.

The Home Stretch - 12 Weeks and Beyond

I made it!

I made it to my 3 month post op visit and got the OK to start walking without any aides as well as being able to drive when I am comfortable.  Even though I was cleared to walk on my own, I'm not there quite yet!  Still using my cane/crutch to get around because my ankle still feels a bit unstable 

and any uneven ground is hard to navigate. 

 But we are working hard on those issues in Physical Therapy.

So I'm starting to sell off all my mobility aides.  

I sold my knee scooter this weekend. 

 I had mixed feelings about that because 

I depended on it for so long.  

But in the end, it was good to let it go.

Let it go and move on, that's my new motto!

My plan is to return to work June 1st, less than a month away!

I'm scared, ya'll!

But I'm in the home stretch.

They say that the home stretch is the toughest part of the race.  

I must finish well for everyone who has shared this journey with me... as well as for myself.

Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts through this journey.  We're almost there!

Garden Therapy

To be honest, I had absolutely NO intention of having a summer garden this year.

I thought maybe I'd start some herbs or flowers from seed, but that would be it.  The surgery and subsequent recovery had been tough and I felt that I had to devote all my energies to healing instead of planting.

But then I realized, planting IS healing for me!

So in February I started some seeds.

I wasn't really sure that I could give them the care they needed.

Some died, but most lived

And as they grew, I found myself dreaming about putting them out in the garden...

But I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to do that with mobility issues.

But I shared my vision with my boys and before I knew it, 

I had this beautiful tomato patch with an arched trellis for beans.

My dreams were becoming reality!

And then every morning and evening 

I was hobbling out to the garden in my walker.

Weeding, planting, even just sitting there soaking up 

the glorious sunshine!

It was becoming my therapy.

Something to look forward to every day.  

I truly think I was becoming depressed just sitting in the recliner all day watching TV day after day.

  The garden was making me move, think, and most importantly WALK!

It's still a challenge for me to move about the beds.  

The uneven ground seems to be my biggest enemy with my new bionic foot!  But I've learned to slow down, take my time and enjoy the process which is something I never really did before.

So for a garden that shouldn't have been this season, 

it has turned into my biggest garden to date! 

 I am so thankful for this little piece of earth 

and the healing it has given me!

Weeks 8-10 In My Recovery

I thought that physical healing from my surgery was tough, and it was, but entering into the rehabilitation phase of my recovery has been even tougher.  At 8 weeks post op, I had my Physical Therapy evaluation done.  My ankle could barely move, was crazy swollen, and two of my six incision sites had not yet healed.  

I was so scared of doing ANYTHING with my foot! 

But I was given a set of exercises to do at home and appointments for twice weekly therapy sessions.  If I was going to walk again, I had to suck it up, endure the pain, and follow through.

One of the first goals they set was getting me back into a shoe.

Pretty basic, right?

It actually took three sessions to get the swelling down enough to get my foot into the shoe.  And as you can see by the picture above, I got INTO the shoe but wasn't able to lace it up.  

It was still a HUGE accomplishment for me!  

I hadn't worn a shoe on my right foot since October!

The next goal was to be able to walk with my shoe on (still using my walker).  This was a scary step for me (no pun intended!).  

My boot keeps my foot and ankle stable.  It protects my still fragile suture lines and allows me very good mobility.  Having to give it up is very stressful and somewhat physically painful. This is the focus of my therapy to date, to gain greater strength and flexibility and to learn to walk with a shoe again. 

I am happy to report that as of yesterday, I was able to do these "hurdles" pictured above.  I still had to hold onto the counter to the left for support and use a cane for balance...but I DID IT...TWICE!

Two weeks ago I could barely even move my foot in any direction, and now I can step over obstacles.

It's a BIG DEAL, y'all!

I still have a little over a month in my immediate recovery.  I am hoping and praying that I am able to walk without any assistive devices by the end of May so that I can return to work.

Heck, even if I need a cane I'll still consider it a success!

Thank you, God, for blessing me

much more than I deserve!

Six Week Check In

Compared to my last two posts, I am a whole new person!

Somewhere between the five and six week mark, I finally made the turn in my recovery.  I no longer needed pain medication other than Motrin, my range of motion increased, and the constant "pins and needles" feeling went away except when something was touching my foot...especially my toes.

At my six week check up, the X-rays showed that I had healed well enough to have my cast removed.

CAN I GET AN AMEN?!?!

I got fitted with a tall CAM boot 

and received my orders for physical therapy.

And for the first time, in what seems a very long time, I have hope.

Hope that I will actually walk again normally and without pain. 

This six week mark was huge and life changing for me and it is only by the grace of God and the love of my family that I have made it this far.

The next six weeks of learning to walk again promise to be grueling, 

but the end is in sight.

And I'm going to RUN across that finish line!

One Month Update

I have some energy so I thought I'd come to this space and write a "one month" update on my progress since triple arthrodesis surgery. 

What a hellacious month it has been!

Pain is front and center of each day.  It wakes me up each morning and I fight it to sleep each night.  There is always a dull ache from mid foot to heel with occasional shooting sharp pains through the inside of my foot.  The numbness has worn off a bit and has been replaced with near constant "pins and needles." It's starting to feel like my foot is waking up and I know the pain is actually healing taking place and nerves re-routing.  

I also had my stitches removed at my one month follow up.  The incisions healed very nicely and I had no bruising.  After a few X-rays, I was moved to a hard, fiberglass cast that feels much better and more stable than the surgical splint I had been in.

Yes, that's me shoving a pair of chop sticks down my cast to scratch an itch.
NO REGRETS!  It's divine!

My mobility is getting better.  I absolutely don't know what I would do without my knee scooter.  Some days I'd like to scrap that scooter for a wheelchair, but I know I need to keep my strength up.

Some things that I've learned this past month:

I've learned I can compromise on cleanliness.

Never in a million years would I think that I wouldn't shower daily...even in the midst of this recovery!  But let me tell you, I have gone days and days without bathing and I've been ok with that!  Thank goodness for baby wipes and dry shampoo!

Little things mean a LOT!

A text from friends, a hot meal, get well cards...

all of these have blessed my heart so much.

As I have surrendered all control of my life,

and it seems as if everyone has survived!

Nobody died because I didn't cook dinner or clean the house.

I raised some pretty awesome human beings!

The kids have really stepped up and taken up the slack I created.

They didn't complain when they've had to miss activities and they've taken such great care of me.

I am truly blessed.

I am making progress day by day, but the progress is slow.

The recovery time on this procedure is about 10 months.  There are good days and bad days.  Today is a pretty good day and I'm thankful for it...and so very thankful that I can come here and vent it all to you!

Pray for me!