Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Damn you Jack Bauer!

Doug only watches TV on two occasions, football or Fox News. I've grown accustomed to being a "football widow" on Sundays, but now I'm a "24 widow" on Monday nights as well.
Doug just happened to watch an episode of 24 one day and has been addicted ever since. Thanks to Dana (who lent Doug her 24 boxed set), Doug went on a 24 bender and watched five seasons in ONE MONTH!

So for my dear addict, er, I mean, husband (and all you other 24 fans)...this is for you!


Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.


CassB said...

LOL We are like that with LOST. It's a horribly addicting show!

JoAnnC. said...

I'm like that with LOST, too! Doug says Jack could find his way off that island in 24 hours!

MamaEscandon said...

We are like that with BOTH of those shows! I can't wait for LOST to start up again... !!!

H F J said...

HILARIOUS!!! Loved it. Of course, you've also reminded me to email Doug about the show. It was soooo awesome ;-)